https://pop-the-cherry-say-i.blogspot.com/2025/03/hey-dan-ive-been-thinking-about.html

https://pop-the-cherry-say-i.blogspot.com/2025/03/hey-dan-ive-been-thinking-about.html

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Hey Dan,

I’ve been thinking about something lately, and I thought I’d share it with you, given our shared experience of working in Japan. It’s about how we see relationships—how media paints one picture, but reality seems like something entirely different. In Japan, I noticed how much of a performative quality there is when it comes to social interaction. There’s this subtle pressure to keep things neat, polished, and, in a way, distant. It's almost like the concept of personal life is kept in a different sphere, one that's not really meant to be discussed openly.

Here, it feels like a similar kind of detachment sometimes, and it's interesting to me how this contrasts with what we often see in media, especially Western films or shows. Men in these shows are constantly talking about their relationships, their love lives, and the women they’re with, often for dramatic or comedic effect. But in real life, especially among the guys I know, there’s a silence about romance. If someone is dating or has a romantic interest, it’s more of an accident to find out about it—like they’ll mention it only if it’s unavoidable, like canceling plans because they’re dealing with something personal.

This led me to think about how social expectations shape what we share and what we keep hidden. In a way, I feel like there’s this conditioned reserve that we, as men, often live with. It’s not just that we don’t talk about our relationships, but there’s a certain discomfort in showing vulnerability or excitement over them. It’s like we’ve been taught to compartmentalize these things, to not show too much. Maybe it’s a fear of judgment, or perhaps it’s the weight of competition, but it all leads to a guardedness that’s hard to break out of.

I wonder, though, if it’s something that’s changing. We’re living in a time where dating norms are shifting, and many men are stepping away from the traditional romantic pursuits that were once a common part of social interaction. There’s less of the “locker room talk” that we might’ve grown up seeing in films, and more of an inward, private focus when it comes to love and relationships. What does that mean for how men bond with each other? Is it a loss of shared experiences, or a sign of a more introspective and private era?

I’d love to hear what you think. Has this been something you’ve noticed in Montreal, or does it seem like a broader trend?

Looking forward to your thoughts.

Cheers,
Edmundo

https://pop-the-cherry-say-i.blogspot.com/2025/03/hey-dan-ive-been-thinking-about.html