How to Trust the Government (Spoiler: You Probably Shouldn't)

Trusting the government is like believing your ex when they say, "I've changed." Sure, and I'm the Queen of England. #LOL #YouCantMakeThisUp

Here's the thing: people lie. It's as universal as death, taxes, and politicians avoiding direct answers. Now, take those same people, give them power, a platform, and a penchant for dodging accountability—voilà, you've got yourself a government. #TruthHurts #WakeUpCall

"But Not All Politicians Lie!"

Oh, bless your naive little heart. That's like saying, "Not all clowns are scary." True, but I wouldn't want one babysitting my kids. Politicians are like those "As Seen on TV" products—promising the world, delivering a dud. #FalseAdvertising #EpicFail

They vow to fix healthcare—ends up more broken than my New Year's resolutions. They pledge to boost the economy—yeah, for their billionaire buddies. And when it all goes south, they point fingers faster than a classroom of toddlers denying who broke the vase. #BlameGame #OwnIt

The "Good Guys" vs. The "Other Guys"

Every election, we're presented with the "lesser of two evils," which is like choosing between a root canal and a tax audit. One side promises change but forgets to mention it's the kind that jingles, not folds. The other side? They're too busy planning their next yacht party to notice the sinking ship they're supposed to be steering. #FirstWorldProblems #RichPeopleIssues

"Just Follow the Rules!"

Ah, yes, the classic "rules for thee, but not for me." You jaywalk, you get fined. They insider trade, they get a Netflix documentary. Ever notice how laws get passed that make you jump through hoops while they limbo under the bar? It's like playing Monopoly where the banker always wins—and you're not the banker. #GameRigged #MonopolyMadness

The Truth About Trust

So, how do you trust the government? Simple: you don't. Not blindly, anyway. Approach it like a Tinder date—hope for the best, expect the worst, and always have an exit strategy. Because at the end of the day, governments are like diapers: they need changing regularly, and for the same reason. #SwipeLeft #ChangeIsGood

Can you trust the government? Sure, to look out for number one—and spoiler alert, that's not you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to figure out how my taxes fund a bridge to nowhere while my pothole-ridden street remains a test track for off-road vehicles. #Priorities #TaxPayerWoes